There’s MORE to come please be willing to go the distance.

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Recently I was at an outdoor church service. The breeze was pleasant, the worship music was wonderful and the Spirit of the LORD was present. It seems like I don’t experience the LORD’S presence as often as I used to. I closed my eyes to drink in every drop as though His presence was longed for water in a hot and dreary land.

As I closed my eyes, a vision started. I could see a boat that was struggling to make it ashore and a very bright and beautiful lighthouse beckoning it to move forward, closer and closer to the shore.

I have been very exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically due to the high pain in my body, so this vision wasn’t a surprise. It’s sometimes a struggle to even feel like I am moving much less moving forward.

But then the vision started to change. It was as if the boat was on a flat surface and would at some point fall off. I thought of what the world would be like if the earth were flat as was the understanding in our Earth’s history. Many people were afraid that if they took their boat too far, it would fall off the world and never return.

As I thought about it briefly, the vision changed again. This time the boat was going the distance and returning with a bounty of new experiences.

My friend, do you feel like you are at the end of yourself? Or maybe you feel like you or your life is worthless? Do you feel like that boat that is struggling to move forward? Or maybe you just want to be on the boat that goes over the edge of the world so you don’t have to go on?

If this is you, please let GOD show you how much He loves you and how much He has in store for your life. Let me encourage you to be in the boat that goes the distance and experiences so much more than you can imagine or fathom.

And if you have any thoughts or plans about suicide, I plead with you to call 1-800-273-8255(TALK) or 988.

GOD has not finished your story, it’s not the end. I know sometimes it’s hard to move forward, but even if you feel like you aren’t moving or moving backwards, please hold on.

I pray for you that GOD will intervene in such a way that you know He is working on your behalf. I pray that GOD will envelop you in His arms and that you’ll know His presence. I pray that you will be able to say with me “; BUT GOD…” I love you my friend, so make the call for me.

Your story is not over. There may be much that you still need to get through that will be hard, but there are people you have not met who have yet to come into your life. There are places that you will go that you haven’t been to yet. You have family and friends who love you. And most of all, you are a survivor, a victor! Lean into GOD and let Him help you live out your story.

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Gifts from GOD

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In my last blog, I wrote about how GOD’S goodness and mercy are different than what we might think they are.

Well, this time I want to write about how His gifts to us can sometimes be quite different than we think, imagine or fathom.

Several months ago, a friend of mine was reading to me from a book called, “Calm my anxious heart,” by Linda Dillow. She was reading from chapter four, “Content with My Role”.

She read, “‘Linda, you are one of the few married women I know was happy. I have observed the wives and our mission. Of the 40 I know, only three are glad to be married.’ This is a sobering comment from a single missionary woman I respected. could she be right? Do women who love Christ and desire to serve Him truly give the impression that they are discontinued in their marriages? Fred, a singles pastor, made an equally disturbing observation. When asked if the single women in the church were content with their singleness, he replied, ‘Absolutely not! Every week I have weepy women in my office convinced are doomed to a life of loneliness. They’re treading water biding time until Mr. Right comes along. They believe that singleness is not the complete will of GOD.'”

We discussed how each role that GOD allows us to walk in is a gift. Whether the role of child, student, single, married, parent, widow, etc. These are seasons of our lives that GOD gives us as gifts. And just because we are in one season, it doesn’t mean that we will be in that season for the rest of our lives.

After we talked, my friend was praying for me and thanking GOD for the gifts of the roles He has chosen for each of us. As she prayed for me, I imagined a fancy gift box that I was opening and upon looking into it, I set it aside and saw myself asking GOD for the next gift. Ugghh! How horrible that I see the gift of singleness as if I have been given underwear and socks for Christmas instead of a cool toy or the thing I wanted most on my Christmas list!

It’s taken me some time to process this and to ask GOD to forgive me for rejecting the precious gift that He has given me because He knows it is the best gift for me. And during this time, I have also learned about another gift GOD has given me…the gift of disability!

Yes, along with our roles, we can look at other roles too. Manager, co-worker, employed, unemployed, military, part-time worker, volunteer, disabled. Each of these is also a gift from GOD.

I learned a few weeks ago that I am not a candidate for surgery and it’s possible that the pain in my spine and the weakness in my legs will get worse. This was sobering news. I went into a funk. I don’t want to live this way the rest of my life. What about my possible career and dreams? SIGH! This was a life sentence to pain

;BUT GOD…

GOD is able to heal me, but even if He doesn’t, He has chosen this for me because it’s the best gift for me. He knows what will help me to become the best version of myself. He knows what it will take for me to look to Him for everything.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Romans 5:3-4 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

My housemate and I were talking about suffering producing character. I said that I should create a t-shirt that says, “I’ve been told that suffering produces character… I’m just not sure which character I want to be yet!”(I pictured the t-shirt with characters like Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse, etc.) But I know the character I really want to display is the character of Christ.

His ways are far different than our ways. He knows what we need in our lives to grow us and mold us into the best versions of ourselves.

What gifts has GOD given to you that don’t feel like gifts? How can seeing them as gifts help you to trust GOD and find peace? What Christ-like character qualities do you want to see GOD develop in you?

LORD, please help us to receive the gifts that You have given us in our lives. Help us to see them as special gifts that we will appreciate and no longer see them as the gift we set aside in order to receive the “better gift”. Please help us to find peace and contentment in the roles You have given us. And help us to grow Christ-like character and qualities in our lives. LORD, Thank You for the gifts You have given us and will give us. Thank You that You know what is best for us. Thank You LORD. In JESUS name amen.

GOD’s goodness running after me

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In my life, I have had two recurring dreams. These are dreams that you have one night and it either replays the same dream over, adds to the dream or replays and adds.


I was recently asked if I would be willing to write about some dreams I had when I was young. But I don’t know what they mean, so I was hesitant to write about them. Why bother?

When I was a child, I had the first recurring dream. It was the type where you have it the first night then the next night it is the same dream again with something added. This lasted four nights.

The weird thing is that I don’t remember much about the part I dreamed about all four nights, but I remember clearly about the dream on the third and fourth nights.

In the dream, I was running through a huge mansion and two tigers, a white one an an orange one, were chasing me. I went from room to room trying to get away. These are the rooms that I don’t recall the details of.

On the third night, I again was in the mansion being chased by a white tiger and and orange tiger 🐅 through the mansion. Then I came to a staircase with a large chandelier on the ceiling lighting the staircase. I ran up the twisting stairs to get to the second floor. There were three doors that were closed. I ran to the first, but it was locked. I ran to the second door, but it was locked. I turned to see the tigers were now at the top of the stairs. I turned and ran to the end of the hall to the last door, but it was locked. Then I woke up. SIGH! I was still alive and was afraid to go back to sleep.

But on the fourth night sleep came and I was once again in the mansion being chased by the tigers. Nothing had changed. It was all the same. I was running, tigers chasing me, many rooms, the staircase, the chandelier, the doors at the top of the stairs, the locked doors, the tigers on the second floor with me at the end of a hall that had no where else for me to go.

I turned to face my most certain death by turning towards the tigers. But to my astonishment, the tigers also turned so they were no longer chasing me. And then I saw them attack a dark shadowed figure. They were not chasing me, they were protecting me from whatever it was that was chasing me.

So why am I writing about my dream now? Because I know a little bit about this dream that I didn’t know before.

The other night I had a song called, “Goodness of GOD” playing in my head. I was brushing my teeth and humming the chorus with my eyes closed. And suddenly I was in a vision, I was in the dream and I saw the tigers.

The chorus lyrics are, “Your goodness is running after it’s running after me. Your goodness is running after, running after me. With all my life laid down I surrender, I give You everything. Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me.”

It suddenly occurred to me. I have been running from GOD’S goodness and mercy. I try to spot it in my life but have a very hard time doing so. And I see that it’s because it’s different than what I thought it was.

His goodness and mercy are dangerous and able to wound us if needed. But His goodness and mercy also protect us and inflict harm on that which chases us which is not of Him.  It’s hard to understand but the most simple thing too. I laugh, because this is so like the GOD I know Him to be.

And the doors? I believe that they are three things that I have had to surrender to GOD. And probably the reason I am just understanding the dream from my childhood is because I am finally surrendering the three hardest things to Him… My desire to be whole, to be able to work, and to minister to people through my career; the desire to get the medical help that I need in order to be restored to health; and my biggest desire, to be married to the godly man who will worship, pray and minister with me.

The chandelier was very, very intricate and large… I’m guessing it represents GOD’S WORD. But the rest of the dream, I have no idea.

I decided to write about this to ask those who read it: Are you running from GOD’S goodness? Do you see it in your life or is it something that is hard to spot?

Please ask yourself and ask GOD. And let me know what you hear.

Waiting for the Right Wave?

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Waiting Preparing for the Right Wave 🌊🏄‍♀️

As I looked over the cliff to see the surfers in Capitola, California sometime between 2008 and 2015, I was spending time with GOD seeking His will in regards to a future husband, I believe that He told me to wait for the right wave. It was then that I saw a surfer ride his surfboard on a wave that took him all the way to the shore. Yes, I desire to be with the right one who will be with me until I reach the shore of life.

I had forgotten all about that conversation with GOD until recently.

The other day I was given a Word for my Brother-In-Christ: “GOD sees you beyond reproach no guilt, no shame. He loves you and the right wave is coming, wait for it.”

He is a surfer, so I figured he would have a reason why GOD would be telling him this. I stepped out in faith to give him the Word. And after it was sent, I was reminded of what GOD told me years ago.

On August 30th, a huge wave was pictured on the front page of the San Jose Mercy News (due to the Mavericks being cancelled again). I thought that it was pretty crazy to see this wave in the natural when waves were being shown to me in visions.

Bible verses that kept going through my mind were Mark 11:22-24: “And Jesus answered them, ‘Have faith in GOD. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I had a vision and thought…”Jesus said faith would move mountains into the sea,” so if the rock of the mountain went into the sea, what would happen? Well, a large wave would be created by a very large rock hitting the water.

I again stepped out in faith and sent my Brother-In-Christ a very lame drawing sharing my vision and thought.

Now mind you, I have no idea what “the right wave” means to my Brother-In-Christ. I only know what it means for me. I do pray that whatever “wave” GOD has for him will come soon and that it will be a ride of a lifetime.

GOD has been teaching me this summer that instead of waiting for surgery, career and spouse that I need to be preparing myself for what is to come.

Instead of waiting for surgery, I am doing what I can to stay strong. I walk daily.

Instead of waiting with my career on hold, I am listening to webinars and training videos, going to seminars and reading articles that will help me to grow and develop skills and understanding.

Instead of waiting for the right man to come into my life, I am doing what I can to better myself and I try to pray for my future husband daily.

We are all waiting on something. But what if instead of waiting, we prepared ourselves for what we are waiting for?

And since this is about waves 🌊, let me share a prayer acronym that I recently learned: W.A.V.E.

“Worship – Worshiping God reminds us of who He is and of His love and care for us. Jesus modeled this in His teaching about prayer.

Admit your Sin – The A in the WAVE model of prayer stands for admission. This reconnects us in our fellowship with God. Our relationship with God is unchanged by sin, but our fellowship is damaged. Fellowship is a word that is defined by sharing, being in community with, and partaking together.

Voice Gratitude – The V in WAVE stands for voice your gratitude. The Bible says that every good and perfect thing comes from God.

Earnestly Ask – God wants to hear what we want from Him.” No, we won’t receive all we was ask for – but as our Heavenly Father, He wants what is appropriate and best for us.

WAVE method of praying is from the “Dropping In” devotional by Shane Sabastian on the YouVersion Bible App.

I will be trying to put a prayer on my Twitter page daily. Some will be for singles and some for future spouses but GOD willing, they will have purpose and meaning for those who read them. If you want to join me, check out: www. Twitter. com/humblevalley.

I pray that we won’t fear the waves 🌊 in our lives but that we will look at them in anticipation of a stoked ride!🏄‍♀️🏄‍♂️

THROUGH FIRE AND DELAY

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Have you ever felt like you were studying for a test through the things that repeat over and over during a week or season? This past week, I was starting to get that feeling through the repetition in the devotionals, sermons, verses, and songs I was reading and hearing.

Devotional, sermon and verses on Delay! Delay! https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/even-when-it-hurts; www.crosswalk.com/devotionalsdesert/streams-in-the-desert-august-10th.html; and John 11:5-6 “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So, when He heard that Lazarus was ill, He stayed two days longer in the place where He was.” (NOTE THIS: Jesus Loved them, SO, therefore, He delayed going to them!)

And multiple devotions, verses and a song on walking through (or being in) the fire: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3; The Refiner’s fire song + Malachi 3; and Isaiah 43:1-2. (NOTE THIS: GOD is not only in the fire with us, but He is the one who is stoking the fire to make it hot enough to refine us!)

The week was also a hot one in San Jose – we were in the 90’s five days in a row (which is a lot for us). On our hottest day, I went out for a walk right before the sun went down. I was amazed that despite the heat, a majority of the flowers were a more vibrant color than I had remembered them being the morning before.(NOTE THIS: the flowers were more vibrant after 5 days of 90 degree heat!)

I found myself talking to GOD about all the devotionals, sermon, verses and song that had come up in the week + my awe of how beautiful the flowers were after the heat. “LORD, should I be preparing for something? I really want to be able to walk or even ‘dance’ through the fire knowing You are with me. And I want to believe that You allow delay because You love me. Please help me to be more vibrant because of the heat if that is Your plan for me.” (NOTE THIS: DON’T pray a prayer like that if you really don’t mean it, because GOD will answer it!)

Since my last post, I had a CT

Myelogram (CT scan after dye is injected into the epidural sac of the spine). The prayer i was asking agreement for was “for GOD to clearly shine His light on whatever issues were going on in my body in a way that they would be clearly reported”.

The report shows I have issues with L3-L4 and an epidural lipomatosis (fatty mass) at L5-S1. On August 5, my doctor’s office sent out a request for authorization (RFA) for a 3 part surgery, hospital stay, commode, walker, medicine, back brace, bone stimulator for purchase, and post-op 12 session aqua therapy.

I was so excited to think I might be moving forward in my health situation. I also had an awesome dream several days after my surgeon said he would send out the RFA. In the dream, I walked without a cane. And it seemed so real that I was questioning if it was real or a dream.

Ohhh, and I forgot to mention, not

sure why I was asking prayer for “issues in my body” to be highlighted, but the CT scan also showed that I have metal surgical clips in the right upper quadrant of my body from the liver resection.

This is extremely interesting to me

since I still have pain since the liver donation surgery (from 10/22/15, see earlier posts). After checking details in the surgical report and asking the doctor at UCSF, I found out that there are clips and staples made of titanium. It was suggested that I get tested for titanium allergy.

It would be very weird to find out

that the continued pain is from a metal allergy, so very interested to find out if that’s the case. My Primary Care Physician is in the process of requesting the allergy testing for titanium.

It just seems like everything is going along on track and I am finally getting the much needed help I have been praying for…

Then they showed up at my door!

They being 8 large white envelopes from the insurance review board. )0; I knew instantly the bad news within. Sigh!

I wanted to cry, but instead took some deep breaths and prayed for GOD to help me to be strong. I opened each envelope that revealed another item on the RFA was denied and the last one opened revealed that the surgery itself was denied too. Yep, it was bad news. Denial hurts!

So how can I apply what I learned

earlier in the week? Jesus allows delays because He loves us. Maybe this is just a delay and not a complete denial. And even though I had already been walking through a fire due to increased pain again, it feels hotter now because once again I have no idea how long it will be before I experience some relief. This because I have had all the treatments available to me already except surgery (or healing straight from the LORD).

I have asked my attorney to appeal

for surgery and several other items that were denied. And the titanium allergy testing should be soon.

I know GOD is on His throne and He

is in control. I am trying my darndest to trust GOD. I know He loves me and ultimately, I want Him to get the highest glory from denials and delays.

“God heard. God remembered. God

saw. God took notice! Because we serve a God who never changes, you can be sure that God has heard your particular groaning and prayers. God hasn’t forgotten His promises to you. God sees what you’re going through, and God has taken notice of your individual life.” (From a devotional I was reading.)

Psalm 27:13-14 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

13 I would have despaired unless I

had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.

14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

GOD’S JUSTICE IS LIKE THE OCEAN TIDES.

In GOD’S Strength

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2 Corinthians 12:9-10 The Message “I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size — abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over. And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

I didn’t realize that I have not been on here for almost a year!  I have not known what to write because there has been so much pain, opposition, frustration and well, bad breaks. I don’t even know where to start…

I thought my new career was underway, but there’s been yet another detour in my life. I’m betting that in GOD’S economy, it’s not a detour, it’s probably just part of the planned journey that I was not expecting.

In mid-July I woke up with 8.5/10 pain in my spine that didn’t drop below a 7/10 until an epidural in early October.

The end of July, I had to put my fur-baby Bebe down because she was not well.  I thought I could just work through these things, but I found myself crying all the time and unable to even think. By August, I realized that I had a mental breakdown!

It was near impossible for me to look for a job so I sought out help.

In December, I was expecting to get back surgery but the insurance company denied it 5 times (maybe I will write that story another time).

Since then, I have had progressing disability – February 2019, I became weak in my legs. I was given a walker and medication and told not to drive. Then in about March, neuropathy started in my left foot.

I am getting medical help, but it has been slow going and extremely frustrating.

I am not saying all this for sympathy. It’s been a hard road and I have no idea when or how it will end. BUT, one thing I can tell you is that GOD has been so faithful to provide for me every step of the way.

I have an understanding housemate and no fear of losing the roof over my head. I have an abundance of groceries and food between Calfresh and the many people who bless me with food. I have had money to pay bills between short-term disability, the IRS auditing me and sending me money they owed me, blessings and gifts from friends and sometimes unknown people. I have been blessed with a Christian PCP who prays for me, an awesome counselor who builds me up and affirms me, friends who encourage me and drive me everywhere I need to go and…

I know that I am in a desert place, but GOD has provided an oasis in the desert. He has become more real and present to me than in any other time in my life.

Sigh. It’s been hard to admit that I have a disability.  I am unable to go wherever I want to go by myself, unable to drive and have freedom of coming and going. I am unable to do the things that I want to do – to work and earn a living, to garden, to volunteer more than I do, to give more than a widow’s mite. I sometimes can’t even get up the stairs!

BUT I am starting to see that GOD can and will be glorified if I focus on Him instead of the disability. Do I do this perfectly? No. I am trying hard to find the gift in this, to take the limitations in stride and find joy in the midst of suffering. And as I get weaker, the stronger GOD shows Himself to be.

superhero-logo-tall

Have you ever thought about what your superpower would be?  I thought it might be cool to be like Jesus and be able to read people’s thoughts (Matthew 9:4, Luke 5:22). Or maybe to be able to be like something my Grandpa used to say, “I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!” Not that I want to be a fly on the wall, but rather to be able to make myself small enough to not be seen.

This weekend I got the opportunity to drive a 12-year old foster girl to a swim lesson. We’ve been around each other several times so she felt comfortable talking and asking questions.

She asked, “If you could have any superpower, what would you have?”

I was really surprised that I was able to answer off the cuff, “I don’t need to want a superpower, because I already have one!”

I glanced briefly to the passenger seat to see a very confused looking girl. “You do? What?”prayer_is_my_superpower_pillow-r98e210c51dba4e26a218c9e4e8f4b433_6s309_8byvr_307

Looking back to the road I answered, “Prayer is my superpower.”

“I talk to the GOD of all Creation and He listens.” I briefly paused and then said, “And He answers me too!”

She, completely wowed, asked, “Really?”

“Yes,” I said. “He even moves heaven and earth on my behalf!”

“NO WAY!” She said amazed.

I asked her what superpower she would have if she could have one. She answered, “The one you have!”

I said, “Well, you already have this superpower because you made Jesus your Savior. You are my sister-in-Christ and daughter of the Father GOD. All you have to do is talk to Him and He will listen. And He will answer and move on your behalf.”

She was very excited to know that she too has a superpower. It was fun to think of prayer as a superpower!

If you could have any superpower, what would you have?

jesussuper0011

 

 

 

What’s Your SuperPower?

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Are you wondering if you should pray???

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In early July I got a nudge to pray for the local airports – specifically that there wouldn’t be any accidents in the air or on the ground. A thought flashed through my head of a plane landing in San Francisco just shy of the runway and lives lost. I prayed right then that there wouldn’t be anything like that again at our airports (San Jose, San Francisco and Oakland – LORD adding now that won’t happen at our small airports either) and no more accidents in the air.

The next day I read a brief article that there was a “near-miss” at San Francisco airport, but it gave no details. I started wondering if my prayer changed anything. More and more of the details started coming out about the “near-miss” explaining that it would have been one of the worst airport disasters in the history of aviation. It turns out that a plane loaded with people nearly landed on a runway that had four loaded airplanes waiting for take off!

Could my prayers have made any difference? Was the accident diverted because I chose to heed the nudge to pray???? I started asking God for confirmation Monday. I just wanted to know if my prayers were that important.

When I got home from class, I had an email in my inbox from a friend entitled “26 Guards”

“Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and then just put it on a list and said “I’ll pray for him or her later?” Or has anyone ever called you and said, ‘I need you to pray for me, I have this need?’
A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in Michigan.
“While serving at a small field hospital in Africa, every two weeks I traveled by bicycle through the jungle to a nearby city for supplies.
This was a journey of two days and required camping overnight at the halfway point. On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city where I planned to collect money from a bank, purchase medicine and supplies, and then begin my two-day journey back to the field hospital. Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured.
I treated him for his injuries and at the same time talked to him about the Lord Jesus Christ. I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home without incident.
Two weeks later I repeated my journey. Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated. He told me that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, ‘Some friends and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and drugs. But just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards.’ At this I laughed and said that I was certainly all alone in that jungle campsite.
The young man pressed the point, however, and said, ‘No sir, I was not the only person to see the guards. My five friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone.’”
At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the Michigan congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day this happened. The missionary told the congregation the date, and the man who interrupted told him this story:
“On the night of your incident in Africa, it was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf. I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?”
The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. The missionary wasn’t concerned with who they were; he was too busy counting how many men he saw. There were 26!
This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways. If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it.“
I don’t know if anyone else was stirred to pray for our airports or not that day – and if so, if they prayed.
Could my prayer have made any difference??
I won’t know until heaven, but I don’t believe in coincidence, so I will believe the power of prayer!
What about you? Have you ever been nudged to pray? If so, did you?
If you don’t pray much, I challenge you to ask GOD to show you the power of prayer, that He would nudge you to pray and that you would see answers to prayer.

Wow, forgot to add something!

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Not sure how I forgot to add this, but I did (blame the pain medicine I guess!). When I posted the video from Encouraged to Write another Psalm, at the end I mentioned that I was expecting to get a van given to me by a friend during the summer and was just looking to see how God would provide until then. Well, she ended up buying a van earlier and was going to need some of the money from the sell of the old van, which we decided would not be a good fit for me, to pay off the old van. So I was expecting to have a little more money to possibly get into a newer car. But then almost immediately she found out that the van had transmission issues so she had to drop the price of the van. All in all, I praise God that she was able to buy a new van before the transmission went out on the old van. I am also very thankful to God that I didn’t get the van with transmission issues either! So God provided for both of us and it ended up much different than either of us were expecting or planning!

Waiting on God was worth it….

/ humblevalleyranch / 2 Comments

Oh my goodness, it’s been two months since I was on here! I am still in school at De Anza College getting my Accounting certificate. I am in my second of four quarters, well God-willing I will be able to finish in a year.

It’s been 19 months since I donated 60% of my liver to a friend’s husband and I still have pain daily in my incision – of course, it’s something that you can never plan for! I was supposed to be without pain after 3-4 months. My pain specialist told me last month, “I don’t want to bring you down Michelle, but this may be your ‘new normal!'” Sigh!!! I am doing all to trust God, knowing He must have a good plan in store despite the pain.

I have been out of work since October 20, 2015 except for a little work here and there. I had received short-term disability for exactly a year but Social Security and Unemployment both decided that I do not qualify for their funds because I am “employable with limitations”.  Between that and school, it was extremely hard to find work. It was really starting to get hard to live financially without a job when I sent my resume to my school counselors and teacher.

Finally on Wednesday, May 3, my OTI (Occupational Training Institute) counselor at De Anza contacted me to ask if I would like to interview for an accounting internship on Stevens Creek in Cupertino. I was excited because I could ride the bus if I needed to, so I said yes to the interview.

In my last post, “Encouraged to write another Psalm“, I posted a video of eleven cars God provided for me from June of 2015 to March 20 of 2017 while I did not own a car of my own. By the time of my interview, I was driving car number 12 that God had provided but I had been taking the bus to class when no car was available to me.

When I “Google-mapped” where the interview was, I found out that it was not on Stevens Creek and it was not in Cupertino! Instead I found out that it was on Bascom in Campbell which was not going to be an easy bus ride! In fact, it would take me over an hour and a half each way – possibly more! Ugh!

I went to the interview anyway since I had a car to get to it. It is in an area that is very familiar to me. The lady I interviewed with was pretty awesome. I think we laughed more than anything during the 45 (ish) minutes that I was there. She told me that she usually isn’t so forth-coming but said that she really wanted to hire me but needed to talk to the owner – I’d be getting my job offer by 5pm that day – if she got her way.

Ok! A job, an accounting internship, with a decent pay and hours that would be worked around schooling was most-likely going to be offered to me. On the drive home, I was scared! I cried out to God, “LORD, I don’t know if I can handle riding the bus to work, working 5-6 hours, then riding the bus home or to school! I have pain as it is…will it increase with that much more activity and sitting?” At that point, I could see something in my heart and life that I had not seen before. “LORD, please forgive me of the fear I have had inside of me. Please forgive me for not looking for a car as I should have because I have been so afraid that I would get another lemon! Please forgive me. Thank You so much for providing the 12 cars despite the fear I have had. LORD, will You please bring me a car?”

Within about 15 minutes of getting home (about 30 minutes of praying that prayer), my housemate sent me a text saying that she had sent out information about me needing a car to a group that she is connected with AND a friend of hers had a car for sale in my price range….did I want to see the car???

I got God-bumps all over my body! I had forgotten that my housemate and I talked that morning about what would happen if I got a job across town. She also knew that it would probably be too much on me to try to take the bus, so she posted my need.

I started texting with her friend trying to say I could come to her, but she insisted on bringing the car to me. At the same time, I received an offer email from the lady I had interviewed with. I called her to let her know I have a disability. When she answered the phone, she sounded depressed. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that no one called her when she offered a job, they always respond to her email – she thought that I would not be taking the job. I said, “no, I am excited about the job – I want the job!” She cheered up immediately then asked why I called. I let her know of the pain that I have and let her know that I would need a sit to stand desk or something compatible to that. She had no problem with that request, so I got the job!

And, on Sunday after church, my housemate’s friend brought the car to me….Let me rephrase it….GOD BROUGHT THE CAR TO ME!

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I knew immediately when I saw the silver car drive up that I was supposed to buy it. I got into the car to test drive it and the owner, sitting in the passenger seat opened the glove box to show me the paperwork. Everything was clean and orderly! She was very impressed with my knowledge of cars as I opened the hood to check everything out, turned the wheels to check the axle and struts, and looked under it as best as I could. It had not been steam cleaned, it was just 14 years of dust – no liquid spills or leaks, new struts, good tires…it was the best looking car I have seen since I started looking for one in May of 2015! And it was an excellent price! Yes, I knew it was from God.

I’m not going to tell you that all has been easy since then. In fact, I was not able to get the car for several days, I had to go to Department of Motor Vehicles twice because I didn’t have enough money to pay the taxes the first time (but praise God the car was already smogged and registered only weeks before so I didn’t have to pay for either of those!), I have had higher pain levels (ranging between 5-6 sometimes) because my standing work station hasn’t been put in yet, and I won’t get paid until June 15th!

But, waiting on God for a job and car has been worth it…Actually, I can say waiting on Him for housing has been worth it too! My housemate has been a very special blessing to me.

And today I learned again that waiting on God for finances is worth the wait too! I was not sure how to pay for my storage unit so I have been waiting on God for direction. Today I felt I was supposed to go to my Chase credit card which meant I would need to pay $100 for it to be enough credit available to pay the rent. When I got on-line, I found out that I had over 10,000 points on my card which meant that I had $101+ change to credit to my account! I couldn’t imagine why I had the points, but I was praising God for the unexpected money to pay for the storage shed. Turns out that two of my friends took up the invitation to get themselves a Chase card with $50 for them and $50 for me! So cool! Thank you whoever it was that helped me out! If anyone reading this wants to get yourself a Chase card with $50 for you and $50 for me, let me know…hee hee! I still have half a month til I get paid!  But I know God will provide! Maybe I’ll even have another story about what He will do.