God is faithful

Thanksgiving 2024

/ humblevalleyranch / 5 Comments

In 2004, GOD led me to invite people I knew to come to my apartment for Thanksgiving. They were welcome for breakfast, lunch, or dinner — whatever worked for them. This way, they’d have a place to go. Then, GOD provided for me to buy the ingredients to make the food for those who would come. I was a bit concerned because my table had four chairs, I had a stool and my office chair. How was I to seat everyone? Well, it turns out, I never had more than six people at a time. And I was never alone during the day. Some people would arrive as other people were leaving. And I did not run out of food, and I was not overwhelmed with a bunch of leftovers either!

A Heart for giving people a place to be for Thanksgiving

And so it began, my heart for giving people a place to be for Thanksgiving. I did this again in 2005. I also continued in 2006 while I could still afford to live in an apartment in the Bay Area. It wasn’t until 2014 that GOD laid it on my heart again. I approached the lead pastor at my church. I asked if I could host a meal there for those who did not have a place to go. We had 17 people that year.

  • In 2015 I had just gotten out of the hospital, so the church’s “men’s house” hosted the night before Thanksgiving.
  • In 2016, we had 24 people.
  • In 2017, we had 23 people.
  • In 2018, we had 41 people.
  • In 2019, we had 42 people.
  • In 2020, COVID happened so no gatherings.
  • In 2021 and 2022, we had a big “Thanksgiving” potluck at the church on Sunday instead of on Thanksgiving day.
  • And in 2023, “We had 46 people at the church for Thanksgiving dinner + 5 others who came just to play some games and eat appetizers.”, I announced on our church Facebook page.

Thanksgiving 2024

Wow oh Wow! This year, Thanksgiving wasn’t even on my radar. I didn’t pray about whether to have Thanksgiving dinner at church or not. At one point, I spoke to a lady from the Care Team at church. I asked if they were interested in helping with it again. She said that another lady from the Care Team and our lead pastor had already been talking about it. The Care Team agreed to step up if I was willing to host it again this year.

Sign-ups start

The first week, sign-ups were slow. We had about 20 people signed up by the second week and hardly anyone was bringing food.

I am not eating turkey anymore because I found that most meat causes higher pain levels for me. So was asking GOD if I should cook the turkeys again this year or if I should do something else. The second Sunday, one of the ladies who had signed up the week before asked me, “What can I help you purchase?” I asked her if she wanted to buy the turkey. She said, “only if we buy it at Harry’s Hofbrau!” I was taken a little aback. “You mean, already baked???”, I asked. She said, “Of course, I’m not going to buy a turkey you have to cook!” Unfortunately, Harry’s Hofbrau no longer had turkeys available, so I searched online for other restaurants and some stores. I had her on the phone as I searched and thought we were buying from one store. I put one pre-baked turkey in my “cart”. She then asked about another store. I looked there, but I was going to have to go in-person to buy it. So, I went back to the original store and put a turkey in my cart because nothing was showing. Then at the checkout, there were suddenly two pre-baked turkeys. I went to take one out and she asked the cost. I let her know and she said, “I will just get two!” Yay JESUS! I was excited that I was not going to have to bake a turkey.

This year is going to be bigger than past years!

The third week, we had 10 more sign up. I found out that our Spanish church plant had 30 people coming. We were suddenly at 60 people. The most I have ever hosted were 46 people! In the past, I would have been stressed out. BUT GOD has given me an overwhelming peace. I feel an excitement this year. I was to trust Him, no matter what!

Sign-ups for food have been slower than the sign-ups for people coming, which has caused some concern to the team. Again, in the past, I would have been stressed. But this year I have an overwhelming confidence. I know that GOD will supply. He may even need to miraculously multiply the food. (I have seen it happen!)

Even before I knew that 60 people would be signing up, I had decided I would make 72 deviled eggs. They always get eaten and sometimes people at the back of the line don’t get one. Another lady asked what she could pay for. I asked her if she wanted to buy the eggs, so she paid for the eggs. I got 5 dozen at Costco. I figured that my Care Provider could help me make them. But then, another lady also signed up for deviled eggs. I asked her if she’d be willing to make 72 if I gave her the eggs. And she was willing to do that, so I did not have to make deviled eggs, though I did make 24, just in case.

By the week of Thanksgiving, we had sign-ups for two pre-baked turkeys and a ham. We also had 75 tamales and a roasted chicken. Additionally, we had all the sides and desserts. Ten more people signed up. Seventy people signed up to join us for dinner. I also had about six or so people say they might be there. I felt we would have enough food. GOD has always provided enough food plus leftovers for people to take home!

On Monday before Thanksgiving, we had 79 signed up to attend the dinner. I texted back and forth with one of the ladies from the Care Team about food. She was concerned we didn’t have enough turkey and her mom’s caregiver was looking into trying to find another one. I told her that I wasn’t concerned about it and not to worry about it. We would make do, there would be much fewer leftovers to give out, but it was ok.

Around 5 pm, I got a group text from the lady I had been texting with. “Guess what I just won?”. I jokingly texted, “a turkey?” She responded with a picture of a Thanksgiving giveaway contest for a complete holiday turkey dinner. “I entered late yesterday just on a whim and just got notified a little while ago that I won! Whole meal!” Then, “So, I’m contributing that to Thursday! Picking it up at Lunardi’s Thursday morning.” I text back, “I knew GOD was going to provide enough food! HE IS SO AWESOME! Thank you for sharing.”

I laughed and cried at the same time after I reread her text. I looked multiple times at the contest she had entered. She said that when she entered it that she thought there was no way she would win, but if she did that, she would bring it to the dinner at the church.

Soon after her texts, another text came in that two hams were purchased instead of one. Yay JESUS!

Make it 100 people!

The day before Thanksgiving, I got a clear message from GOD. We would feed 100. I wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This was confirmed when the ladies putting together the plasticware said they made 100 sets. That’s also the day I found out that the dinner was posted online for people to see.

I was getting a little bit stressed by then. I did not feel I was a good hostess for the 46 who came the year before. I’d rather be in the kitchen getting stuff ready for the meal! I really needed GOD’s peace to move forward.

GOD showing up and showing off!

We still needed food – especially if we were going to feed 100 people! BUT GOD showed up and showed off!! I got a text from our lead pastor’s wife who bought extra food and left it at the church. Then about 2:40 pm, I was told to “come look what that family brought”. They apparently are caterers. They brought a whole beef brisket. They also brought 8 large pans filled with scalloped potatoes, sweet potato pie, and other food! One woman, who was possibly homeless, found us online. She brought a bag full of things that she personally microwaved at the church. She put out green beans, some nacho cheese, and some other items on the tables. (Reminds me of the widow in one of JESUS’ stories who brought all that she had, a widow’s mite, and gave more than all the rich people!)

I’m not going to tell you it was a perfect evening. The team butted heads often, we were “short staffed” and unorganized. There was no one to greet the people formerly or to make people feel welcomed. We had a breaker trip which slowed the warming process down – A LOT!

LOOK FOR THE GOOD

It’s easy to go on with the negative, BUT GOD is teaching me to look at the good. A woman who came with her daughter not only asked how she could help, but she also told me that her church does similar type dinners. She gave me some wonderful tips on how to better organize the volunteers if we have another dinner like this. The people were very hungry because of the delayed meal. Still, they were pleasant and seemed to be enjoying themselves talking amongst each other. One of my friends encouraged me to sit and eat. She told me to “go rest now” as she took pictures for me. Then her family got up together to help serve dessert.

Also, GOD granted me freedom from the migraine that was causing dizziness and nausea. I had mostly low pain while I was moving. I did not cry like I thought I would. For the most part, I had peace through the day.

When I got home, I told GOD that I did not want to do this again. It’s too much for me and our team is way too small to do all the work for this event. I complained about the things I saw that were missing in my skills. And I also complained to Him about how I felt things were missing at our Thanksgiving dinner.

In His grace, He let me see that He was pleased with the work. He was happy with the meal that was shared. He saw the faith our little team had to let me lead them. He saw the faith and trust that I had in Him. I knew He would provide, even when there would be more people to feed than we had food for.

Counting the people

From what I can tell from the pictures, 98 people attended the church for Thanksgiving dinner. And one hundred people were fed. This count includes one person who came just to get food for two others. They would have been at the dinner if his wife had not gotten ill.

GOD is not looking for us to have it all together. He is looking for those who have His heart for the lonely, the homeless, the family who doesn’t have enough money for a nice holiday meal, for the single who doesn’t have a family to be with, and for those who just want to be known and loved. I have a heart to give people a place to be for Thanksgiving. I’m not wonderfully skilled at the details of everything. And I have a few people working with me who have hearts to see others succeed in their GOD goals. That’s the kind of people GOD is looking for. So we were chosen. And I was extremely blessed to be part of GOD’s heart to feed 100 people for Thanksgiving 2024!

How have you been a part of doing the work of GOD’s heart in 2024?

The power of GOD’s Word, truth over deception

/ humblevalleyranch / 3 Comments

Have you ever found out that you were deceived in an area (or more than one area) of your life?

When I first became a Christian, I was so hungry for the Word of GOD. I read it and read it. It was like fresh bread that I was devouring. Yet even though I was in the Word, I had areas in my life where I was greatly deceived.

I believed that a certain guy was to be my husband. And I was fixated on him coming into my life. I even wrote him a very long letter and sent it to him – and then waited for him to come into my life. I was positive that eventually he would.

Now I look back and I see how sick it was, how sick I was! Above all, I was super deceived about what the truth was. And instead of letting GOD’s Word wash over me and bring truth, I continued to believe the lie and I made it my truth.

Above all, I was super deceived about what the truth was. And instead of letting GOD’s Word wash over me and bring truth, I continued to believe the lie and I made it my truth.

Even a year ago, I would not have been able to confess that on my blog because I was so embarrassed about it. And I thought people would judge me and maybe even push me out of their lives. But more and more, I am understanding that the enemy doesn’t want us to confess our sins to others because then he can continue to control us with the lie.

Have you ever found out that you were deceived in an area (or more than one area) of your life?

How did I get free? At one point, I was so broken that I started praying for GOD to reveal truth to me. I asked Him to break down the lies and bring truth and light into the dark places of my heart, mind and soul. I started fasting and praying. I started worshipping GOD and seeking to know Him. And little by little, as I did, I started to have His peace that surpasses all understanding. He started shedding light on the truth.

I confessed my sins over and over because I thought I was the worst of all sinners. And He showed me His grace. He showed me that “All have sinned and fall short (they missed the perfect mark) of the glory of GOD” (Romans 3:23). In other words, we all miss His mark and standard. I repented and received His forgiveness. I stopped speaking the lie and eventually stopped believing the lie.

I learned that the tongue has the power of good and evil. What we speak over and over becomes what we believe in our hearts. And when we are deceived, only the truth will set us free.

John 8:30-31 says, “So JESUS said to the Jews who had believed in Him, ‘If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”

What I learned is that we can have a lot of Bible knowledge and not have a healthy relationship with GOD and others. If we are pushing our own way and our own agenda, trying to manipulate people into doing what we want, causing pain and heartache to others, and/or dwelling on and speaking/believing something other than what GOD’s Word says (or know people who are doing these things), we need to be asking GOD to reveal truth, to illuminate the lies, and to set us, and others free from deception.

I am also learning that it’s important to ask GOD, “What is truth?” regularly. Because we are sinful, we can easily be ensnared in the lies of the enemy. And I think we all have areas in our lives where we have traded the truth of GOD for a lie.

;BuT GOD…GOD is  Sovereign, In Control, ALL-Knowing, ALL-Powerful, and He desires for us to walk in truth, so He is ready to help us when we seek Him.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of GOD, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5). GOD and His Word is powerful to break the power of deception and sin when we speak it over our lives.

 Philippians 4:8-9 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the GOD of peace will be with you.”

GOD wants us to be freed from damaging lies.

I challenge you to ask GOD, “What things am I (or others) speaking and believing that are not true?” Ask GOD to reveal the truth and to illuminate the lies in your life and in others’ lives too.

Sometimes we have to be completely broken before we will willingly ask GOD to reveal the truth. Be open to GOD and trust Him. Don’t be ashamed to seek help from a trusted friend or mentor.

GOD wants us to be freed from damaging lies. Be willing to fast and pray for breakthrough. Persevere in seeking GOD through His Word and praying for Him to illuminate deception for what it is.

‘If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”

I pray that we will know the truth and that the truth will set us free so that we will be the people GOD created us to be to the fullest.

What seeds of faith am I planting?

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Recently, I became a co-admin of a seed library and found out that I would be planting seeds in order to have plants to sell as a fund-raising plant sale. My prayer for this started last year.

I was told that the seed library was receiving only 1/4 of the money raised at the plant sell and I became somewhat righteously angry. I started praying that if it be GOD’s will, that I would be able to donate plants towards the sell so that they would get 100% of the money raised. I was just thinking about a couple of dozen plants.

In March I was talking to the seed library lead and she was telling me that many of the plants that were started earlier in the year had been tossed around by the wind and were not going to make it for the sale. So I was given the “go-ahead” to grow some seeds for the sale. Reminder, I was only thinking a couple dozen plants. However, GOD’s plans are not our plans. I’d been given some Amazon gift cards for a class I took, so found myself looking at gardening supplies….and bought a 40 pack of twelve 1″x1″ square (40*12=480) peat planters. Plus I already had about 60 peat cups. So, I started planted seeds in 540 peat cups! Now mind you, just because you plant a seed doesn’t mean it will sprout or become a plant.

However, GOD’s plans are not our plans. I’d been given some Amazon gift cards for a class I took, so found myself looking at gardening supplies….and bought a 40 pack of twelve 1″x1″ square (40*12=480) peat planters.

Have you ever asked GOD to use something you are doing in the physical for the spiritual good?

As I was planting the physical seeds, I started praying that God would use the seeds that I was planting to bear spiritual fruit. 

 “ABBA FATHER LORD JESUS HOLY SPIRIT thank You that You are able to use what we do in the physical in spiritual ways. Physical seeds can be spiritual seeds planted! LORD remind us of this and empower us to sow generously in all we do.”

PLANT GENEROUSLY 

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 (TPT) “Here’s my point. A stingy sower  will reap a meager harvest, but the one who sows from a generous spirit will reap an abundant harvest. Let giving flow from your heart, not from a sense of religious duty. Let it spring up freely from the joy of giving—all because God loves hilarious generosity!”

The Aramaic can be translated “the one who sows with a storehouse of seed” (remaining). This describes a farmer who is stingy with his sowing since he has a storehouse of seed he can afford to sow liberally.

All throughout scriptures, we see both natural and spiritual implications of this cycle. 

NATURAL: if you plant a few seeds, you will reap a small harvest. If you plant hundreds or thousands of seeds, you will reap a large harvest.

SPIRITUAL: When we “plant” our time, money, talent, and energy into the Kingdom of GOD we are investing in Him and His plan – and He can certainly multiply our efforts.

Some of the seeds just did not come up, they composted (become soil again) or were no longer viable. Which surprised me, because I soaked all the seeds before I planted them (and they passed the viability test).

Some of the seeds became seedlings but either got too cold, too hot or munched by bugs.

And some seeds were slow in coming up because we had an unseasonably cold spring this year. These were brand new seedlings for the sale, so few were sold. 

A lot of the seeds became seedlings and thrived to become plants ready to be sold. 

Because of all the variables above (becoming compost, dying plants, slow germination), if I would have been stingy in sowing, I wouldn’t have had near as many plants I ended up with.

We shouldn’t give to get though, we are to sow with the right heart. I was not growing plants for me to receive money or acknowledgement, I was growing plants because I desired to see the seed library succeed in their plant sale, so they could succeed in their mission…and praying that GOD would use it to plant spiritual seeds in the community.

Proverbs 11:18 (BSB)  The wicked man earns an empty wage, but he who sows righteousness reaps a true reward.

Hosea 10:12 (HCSB) Sow righteousness for yourselves and reap faithful love; break up your unplowed ground. It is time to seek the Lord until He comes  and sends righteousness on you like the rain.

I read this verse several days before the plant sale. I prayed that GOD would break up the unplowed land of our hardened hearts and to plant righteousness and faithful love. Before that, we had A LOT of rain and no more was expected for the season. In fact, it was unseasonably warm, in the upper 80’s and 90’s.

I was getting some signs printed for the plant sale at a store. I was talking with one employee and when she briefly walked away, I started fanning my face and another employee (who was busy with another customer, leaned over to me and said, “you know it’s going to rain next week!?!”

I laughed! I had not prayed the rest of the verse! “LORD, please send Your righteousness upon us like rain!” It not only rained one day, but on and off for a week!

WHAT ARE YOU CULTIVATING IN YOUR LIFE?

What am I cultivating in my life? Am I cultivating weeds of worldliness or a relationship with GOD? Cultivating a relationship with GOD will bear the fruit of the SPIRIT . 

Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP) But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The Sunday before the plant sale, I was writing my prayer request for the plant sale “Please pray that GOD will use the seeds I have planted physically for a spiritual harvest.” As I wrote, the person speaking just happened to read from First Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 36-9 (GNT)  I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plant, but it was God who made the plant grow. The one who plants and the one who waters really do not matter. It is God who matters, because he makes the plant grow. There is no difference between the one who plants and the one who waters; God will reward each one according to the work each has done. For we are partners working together for God, and you are God’s field.

It gave me great joy, belief and hope that He indeed was hearing my prayers and was already answering them.

I had well over 500 plants by the time the plant sale came. We raised over $700 and somehow I had well over 200 plants left. I know GOD was the One Who brought the success of the plant sale. And I believe that He is growing the spiritual seeds planted into a harvest for His Kingdom purposes.

Ask yourself, “How am I sowing spiritual seeds in my life and the lives of others? What types of seeds am I planting? Am I trusting God will multiply my efforts when I have harvested in his kingdom with the right heart?

Take some time today to reflect on what you’re planting and reaping and ask God to direct your steps.

Please let me know what GOD shows you, what you are sowing into His Kingdom as well as what harvest you see Him bring in through your planting and watering

Journaling

/ humblevalleyranch / 4 Comments

I didn’t realize that I have not added a new blog since last May! Crazy!

I seemed to have lost most of January and February of this year with Covid, bowel obstruction, minor eye surgery and minor flood in the house I live in! Interestingly, while I had Covid, I was reading about GOD’s goodness and love. In my desperation, I asked Him to “prove it”! And with each new thing, He proved to me a little bit more of His goodness and love.

I have been journaling again this year. I’d like to share what I have written.

Romans 5:6-8 (NIV) “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly (that’s us!). Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. BUT GOD demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 Yochanan (1 John) 1:9 (CJB) “If we acknowledge our sins, then, since He is trustworthy and just, He will forgive then and purify us from all wrongdoing.”

GOD’s MORAL STANDARD

Every human has sinned (except for Jesus). We’ve fallen short of GOD’s moral standard. “Sin” is an archery term which means “missing the mark”. None of us hit the bullseye, even when we are doing what we think is good and right, because none of us can live a perfect life. And missing the mark of GOD’s moral standard, sinning, separates us from GOD. That is, we can not have a right relationship with Him with sin in our lives.

BUT GOD…was not willing for us to be forever separated from Him! Jesus came, born of The Spirit and a virgin that He would be 100% GOD and 100% man – He lived a sinless, perfect life – He died a criminals death, even though He had not sinned. He took the sin of the world – from Adam to the last man – all our past, present and future sin – upon Himself on the cross. He died and was buried. Then on the third day, by the power of The Holy Spirit, He rose to life.

He was our “guilt offering”, the Lamb of GOD who takes away the sin of the world! All we have to do is, by faith believe in Jesus, receive Him and the work He has done for us on the cross then live in right relationship with GOD through Jesus.

Our forgiveness is not based on our faithfulness or goodness, it’s based on GOD’s faithfulness and His goodness. We can trust Him to forgive us and purify us from everything that keeps us from Him. In Christ Jesus, we are free from the guilt and shame of not living to GOD’s standard. His forgiveness should empower us to continue to live closely to Him, following His Word and being faithful to GOD.

Have you believed in Jesus? Have you received Him and the Work He has done for you on the cross? If not, it’s not too late. All you have to do is to call out to Him. Ask Him for faith to believe and to empower you to receive Him into your life as well as the ability to turn from your sin towards GOD. He is faithful and He will help you to do this. In fact, is anxiously awaits your call to Him.

Prayer: GOD, I confess that I have not always been the person You have created me to be. I sometimes fail to love You with my whole heart, mind and soul. I don’t always love my neighbor as You love them. Please forgive me. Please give me faith to believe Your Word and to receive Jesus as my LORD and Savior. Empower me to receive Him into my life and heart. Help me to repent, to turn from my sin and turn towards You. GOD transform my heart and renew my mind so that I can draw closer to You. In Jesus’ name. Amen

You might ask, “Why are you journaling about this if you have already made JESUS your LORD and Savior?”

I have been journaling about the Scriptures I read each day, so this has been what I have been writing about. Also, I believe that there is an urgency for this good news, the Gospel, to be known and received by those who have either not known about it or those who have read about it but refuse to believe.

GOD wants everyone to come to Him. He desires every person to choose Him. So, I am journaling about it and sharing it on here because, like GOD, I desire for you to choose Him too.

Please pray and ask GOD to reveal truth to you in such a way that you no longer doubt or disbelieve. Your eternity hangs on your choice!

Christmas Christmas time is here…

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Are you having a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit this year?

SIGH, I’m not sure what to write or how to write it. I had a lot of hope and anticipation at the beginning of December. Then I suddenly found myself struggling with depression, yet again!

I really thought I would get past it this year and finally experience the hope and anticipation throughout the month. If you are like me, you need something, anything to anchor onto so that you can make it through the holidays.

I know we are to focus on Jesus, the reason for the season…and Christmas should be in our hearts and lives all year long. I can spend all morning reading devotionals and GOD’s Word. And worship and sing songs of praise to Him all while still struggling with depression.

I’m finding that looking back at past Christmases while asking GOD to shine a light on my memories to show me how He was in them is bringing some relief.

I was at my church’s Christmas Carol sing last week and people were asked to share memories. There seemed to be a theme this year where person after person shared about their family opening Christmas presents for hours for Christmas. My family didn’t do that.

Interestingly, GOD brought to mind not a time with lots of presents, but a Christmas when I was younger after my parents divorced and my Dad had remarried. We were at my Dad’s sister’s house. It was evening and the adults had the kids join them. The adults started to sing (and recorded it on a cassette tape).

GOD shined His light in the gift of His presence. You see, my family were not just singing the melody of the Christmas songs, but were harmonizing with one another. It was like a taste of what it will be like when we get to heaven.

GOD is reminding me of other Christmas memories too. Is it causing the depression to go away? No. BUT GOD is allowing me to have peace, hope, anticipation and even some joy despite the depression. He is able to do that when we let Him.

GOD has an adventure for each of us. He never promised life would be easy. Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble, but He has overcome the world. It’s our choice to take Him up on the adventure He has for us or try to do life on our own without Him.

Having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit? Ask GOD to shine a light on what He is doing as well as where He was in past seasons of your life. He will show Himself faithful. He will show you where He has been working in your life, even in the hardest parts of your life.

And one more thing, please know, it’s ok to be depressed. It’s ok to not be ok. But know this, you are not alone. GOD is with you and loves you. BUT if you are thinking about taking your life, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). GOD will help you get through this season. Trust Him.

I pray that GOD will show Himself faithful in your life. I pray that He will encourage you, strengthen you and give you hope and anticipation of what is to come. I pray that GOD will envelope you in His arms and lead you on the adventure of a lifetime. He is able and willing. I love you friend. Merry Christmas!

5th Anniversary of a sacrifice

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If you have not already read my early writings, please check them out on my website, here’s the first one. I have written about the process and journey of becoming a live liver donor for a friend’s husband.

October 22, 2020 will have been 5 years since we had surgeries. Here’s our update and story.

Can you believe that it’s been 5 years since I donated part of my liver to Lupe? Me neither – only it feels much longer than 5 years! Time is a strange thing.

Last I heard, Lupe is still cancer-free. He was permitted to go to work, but with him having a sensitive immune system, he is not working because of covid-19 in our world. He still has pain daily but has a good attitude. He’s also very grateful for each day he gets with his family and friends – and for each opportunity he has to share Jesus with someone.

Since the last update, I am still having abdominal pain as well as back pain. I was not approved for back surgery and doctors say that there is no way to really see if I am allergic to titanium. SIGH! I am still using a cane and have been unable to drive since February 2019. I have been blessed with SSDI and also In Home Support Services has allowed me to have care providers come into the house where I live to help with laundry, bed changing, errands, cooking and taking me to appointments. I would have never imagined being in pain for 5 years, being this young and needing care providers, not being able to drive or even walk very far by myself – BUT GOD…

GOD is faithful, GOD has not left me and I know that GOD loves me. I know that GOD is sovereign, GOD is in control and that GOD has a plan. I’m not sure why He has allowed this for me, but I trust GOD completely – more than I did 5 years ago. More than anything now, my prayer is that GOD will be glorified in and through all we have been through.

If you haven’t known GOD or JESUS personally, I would encourage you to seek Him while He can be found. Your life won’t become suddenly easy, but you will know a peace that surpasses all understanding. You will know that the GOD who created you still holds you in His hand and He loves you more than you can ever imagine.

On With the New….

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Wow, it’s been a month since I have written a blog!  I have much happen, so I am surprised I have not written! Oh well…

I was going to Nova Job Center throughout the spring and summer of 2016 but for some reason my badge was no longer valid which meant that I had to reapply for their services. I believe that it was a “God-thing”, because when I re-applied, I was able to qualify for job training. When I applied the first time, I would not have qualified because I was receiving short-term disability, but they also did not have any funding available when I first applied.

I went through the orientation training and then I went to a class that talked about the process to receive a training grant. After that, I met with a job councilor who told me that I could probably get a three or six month training program. So, I did all my homework. I looked back at all the work I have done through my years of work to see if there was something I really enjoyed doing. I decided that I enjoyed bookkeeping using Quickbooks and Quicken. I researched positions with different titles, position requirements, salaries, benefits, etc. I listed each and made graphs, I interviewed three ladies in my network or from people connected to my network who were either bookkeepers or non-tax accountants, I printed my master job and schooling resume and more.

Then I took all of that to a training councilor who first wanted to know why I was not working. I told her that I had quit my job and two days later donated 60% of my liver to my friend’s husband. She clapped her hands and smiled as she told me that she wondered why I was in the system with priority status to receive training funds. I was told I had priority status, but I was under the impression that it was because I was reapplying for their services.

After going through all of my “homework”, she told me that it is rare for someone to come in with everything completed. Majority of the people have to go back to her several times before she can make a decision about job training. She marked “APPROVED” on my paperwork and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted a nine-month training or a twelve-month training. I was dumbfounded for a moment before she explained that she was not approving me for a three or six month bookkeeping training but instead she was approving me for a nine or twelve month accounting certificate!

She explained both of the options to me and I made the decision that I would like to go to De Anza College in Cupertino for a twelve month accounting certificate.  I was told that I would have quite a bit of stuff in order to be able to start in January but the plan was that I would sign my grant contract on January 3rd and start school on January 9th.

On the 20th of December, I got a call that my contract was ready to sign and that I needed to go to Nova to sign it before the Christmas break. I went in that day to sign. While I was there, my councilor suggested that I contact my doctor and ask for a temporary handicap placard for the car since the campus was big.

The next day on December 21, I went to De Anza to do all my paperwork. While I was there, my training councilor encouraged me to have my doctor approve for me to get a handicap placard. So I did all my paperwork as well as contacting my doctor to find out what he thought. Since he agreed, I sent paperwork to him to be signed and sent back to me to take to Department of Motor Vehicles.

Well, all seemed to be going well. Then, on Christmas day, the car (Number 10) that I was borrowing from friends was stolen. It was recovered last night but had drugs and other things in it that have caused the owners concern for my safety, so they will no longer be loaning the car to me.

The other thing that is happening is that the classes that I hoped to get are not available now and I have not received the email from De Anza to register. So, it seems like there is something keeping me from moving forward!

It’s interesting, my friend Amy sent me a text that said, “Wow, you are such a person of faith and yet the LORD tests you down to the wire. His glory always prevails, but it’s so much at once!”

It is easy to think that if we take a step of faith that things should be easy. But that is not the case. Think of Abraham, the father of the faith. God gave him a promise that he would have a son. He was already 75 years old when God made that promise to him. Then he would have to wait 25 years before Isaac was born. AND then God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice the son of his promise. But Abraham got up and took Isaac to the place that God told him to go, he tied Isaac to the altar and had the knife in his hand raised to sacrifice his son of promise…AND then only did the angel of God speak and the ram was provided in Isaac’s place. (You can read the story of Abraham in Genesis, Chapter 22 for the story of him being asked to sacrifice his son.)

I am not being asked to sacrifice anything. I already sacrificed 60% of my liver and a year worth of wages! But walking in faith isn’t always easy. The one thing that makes walking in faith a little easier is that God doesn’t change. He is the one who told me back in June of 2015, “I love you, I have a plan, and I am in control!” He hasn’t changed. He still loves me, He still have a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and He is still in control! Nothing has changed.

So, I want to encourage you. If you are in a place where circumstances are hard, where nothing seems to be going right and even then good things seem to be made hard, don’t be discouraged. Trust God that He is more powerful than the enemy. Trust God that He loves you. Trust God that He has a great plan for you. Trust God that He is and will always be on His throne. Keep your eyes on Him because He will make a way where there seems to be no way! (Read Isaiah 43:1-3).

This is the end….

/ humblevalleyranch / 2 Comments

 

Ok, so you are probably wondering why I put a funny cheese commercial at the beginning of this blog post.  Well, it’s kind of long story. So, my short-term disability ran out on October 21, 2016. I thought I was going to be getting a fantastic job, but not quite sure if I was ready to be working full-time with lots of travel. Turns out, they did not feel I had enough experience in an area and not enough knowledge in another area. So I didn’t get the job.

I should note that prior to my short-term disability running out, I applied for Social Security Disability, which takes about 3 months to be approved or denied.

Back to not getting the job. I’m not sure who I spoke to, but was told to file for unemployment because I did not get the job but no longer on short-term disability. I was accepted for unemployment benefits right away, but I had to go through a screening call to make sure I qualify. Well, I got the call, which was not an easy one! The woman wanted to know if I was disabled or employable. I tried to explain that I am employable with limitations. She would not accept my answer. “You are either disabled or employable, Ms Wilson, you can’t be both!” She wanted a note from my doctor saying I was employable without limitations. I felt I was between a rock and a hard place. I won’t tell you that I didn’t cry. I did!

Almost immediately, the Message version of Isaiah 43:1-4 came to my mind.

When You’re Between a Rock and a Hard Place

43 1-4 But now, God’s Message,
    the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
    the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
    I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
    When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
    it won’t be a dead-end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
    The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
    all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
    That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
    trade the creation just for you.

Also, a song started in my heart:

When you’re up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams
And your hopes have been cruelly crushed by Satan’s manifested schemes
And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly fears
Don’t let the faith you’re standing in, seem to disappear

Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him
Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise
Praise the Lord, for the chains that seems to bind you
Serve only to remind you that they drop powerless behind you
When you praise Him

I felt comforted by God. I know He loves me, He has a plan and He is in control. Later in the day I ended up at a Job Center for a class. Ironically my badge had expired even though I was doing things to keep it active, so I had to meet with a counselor for a new badge. I met with a lady who is a Sister-in-Christ and she told me that she could not tell me what to do but to trust God to show me what was the best thing to do. She explained that with me being “employable with limitations” that I would qualify for job training (which I was not eligible of getting before because I didn’t qualify and because they didn’t have funding) and possibly help from Department of Rehabilitation (which I also had applied for).

I had pretty much decided that I would not worry about losing unemployment thinking I might get Social Security Disability. However, I called UCSF to talk to them about what they thought I should do. No one contacted me back in time to do anything about unemployment, so when the letter of denial for unemployment came, I was not surprised at all.

This morning, I was looking at my bookshelf and opened a devotional book I have not read yet. There was a challenge on the page I turned to, so I read it since I like challenges. It read:

“Challenge: Today make the LORD your dwelling place. Let Him be the one that delivers you from your enemies. As you talk and pray to God, ask Him to show you the best way to handle a current crisis. Like He did with David, He will deliver you. May God bless you.”

I decided to verbally acknowledge the LORD as my dwelling place to at least take part of the challenge. I started to pray, “God, I don’t have a current crisis that I know of….” Immediately I thought “you won’t receive Social Security Disability.” I knew that it was the LORD and not the enemy. And as crazy as it may seem, I heard the mailman drop the mail in the box right then. Sure enough to His word, I received a letter from Social Security that I do not qualify for Social Security Disability because according to my doctor at UCSF I am “employable with limitations”.

I could not believe it! Well I could, but I couldn’t. The same thing that disqualified me from receiving unemployment was also disqualifying me from receiving Social Security Disability! Wow! That is just unbelievable!

No Bible verses came to mind. No songs of hope sprang up in my heart. Just the enemy telling me that I thought I was at the end before but now I was at the end. “There’s no hope for Michelle…she will not be able to get the training she thought she would be able to get since she won’t have any form of income from State or Government!”

Then a song arose but not one from God. “This is the end, beautiful friend, This is the end, my only friend, the end. Of our elaborate plans, the end.”

I was sure that I have seen a video of a mouse in a trap with this same music playing. You think, “poor mouse!” It truly looks like the end for the poor critter. And that is what it feels like for me right now. But the mouse ate strong cheese and as a result was able to “bench press” the bar that had snapped to take life from its body to the tune of Eye of the Tiger! Hee hee! My God is much stronger than the strongest cheese! He is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.  He is my dwelling place and He will deliver me from my enemies.

I love when I can laugh at Satan. He may think that I am at the end, “But my God shall supply all my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19). I laugh at Satan, not because I know God’s plan or how provision will come in, but because I know God is faithful!

Tonight when I talked to my housemate about my day, she told me, “I want you to know, you will not be kicked out of my house if you can not come up with rent! Just know that, ok?” I am already praising God for the blessing of the beautiful home I am living in as well as the generosity my housemate has already shown me. Now I praise God all the more for an assurance of housing in a time of uncertainty with my finances. God is already showing Himself faithful!  Praise God not only is He my dwelling place, but He has provided a dwelling place!